Squidward Going to Work Ah Shit Here We Go Again
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Squidward's Suicide 
Series Livin' With The Squid Season 1 Episode 31 Airdate Nov 7, 2015 Production visitor Pineapple Entertainment Story by The Terrible Travis Written by The Terrible Travis Previous Episode Internet Stalker Forums Next Episode We're Just Setting The Side by side Episode Up
Squidward'south Suicideis the thirty-commencement episode ofLivin' With The Squid.
Characters
- Squidward Tentacles
- SpongeBob SquarePants
- Patrick Star
- Steve Pavot
- Technetium (cameo)
Plot
Later on Squidward begins to contemplate suicide, SpongeBob calls upwards Steve Pavot, a professional "suicide preventer".
Story
"Do y'all remember Squidward will let us move dorsum into his business firm?" SpongeBob asked, walking out of the Krabs residence forth with Patrick. "Oh, come up on, SpongeBob. You're the founder of Pineapple Farms. You can just buy the house from him," Patrick said, the 2 of them eventually reaching the house and opening information technology, simply to find Squidward sobbing on the footing. "NNNNNOOOO!!!! WHY?! WHY?! I hate this frickin' world! I hate my frickin' life! I'yard gonna kill myself right at present!" the squid cried out in an extremely high voice.
"I'm deaf again. What did he say?" SpongeBob asked. "Oh, he just hates his life and is gonna kill himself. Nothing major," Patrick answered with a shrug. "KILL HIMSELF?! Squidward, you lot can't practise that!" SpongeBob shouted, quickly running over to his friend. "And why non?" Squidward asked, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Because yous have so much to alive for!" SpongeBob grinned. "Like what?" Squidward asked, looking at his roommate. "Uh, well, that's a good question," SpongeBob said.
Squidward in one case used to enjoy his life
Laughing at people on Pineapple Farms
But then his videos got posted there
He went totally batshit crazy, yo
So now he's gonna commit suicide
And well let's just say
It couldn't of gotten any worse!
"Get off of me!" Squidward growled, pushing SpongeBob off of him and quickly running upstairs and into his room. "What a baby," Patrick muttered. "Time TO DIE! I'll exist able to rest peacefully in Hell!" the nutcase said to himself, quickly whipping out a pocketknife and placing information technology towards his middle. "QUICK! PATRICK! We've gotta call Steve Pavot the Suicide Preventer! We've gotta call him!" SpongeBob said. "So, instead of blabbering about how much you need to telephone call him, how about you really call him?" Patrick suggested dryly, crossing his arms.
"There'S NO Time! I'll have to call him instead!" SpongeBob exclaimed. "That's what I but said!" Patrick pointed out. "NO EXCUSES!" the sea sponge shouted, dialing up the aforementioned suicide preventer. "Hullo? Steve Pavot the Suicide Preventer? Yes, this is an emergency! My best friend'southward about to commit suicide! You've gotta come here quickly!" SpongeBob pleaded.
"Hey! Expect a minute! I thought I was your best friend!" Patrick growled. "Patrick! Squidward'due south about to commit suicide and this is all you can recall about?!" SpongeBob said. "Dude! He threw an entire party celebrating my death! I say we allow him die," Patrick muttered. "PATRICK! How dare you say such a thing!" SpongeBob gasped. "Yous know, he actually makes quite a adept indicate. Squidward is a murderous alcoholic. It's probably all-time to allow him die," Technetium stated.
"When did y'all become here?" SpongeBob asked. "I live here," Technetium said dryly. "Yes, living here for complimentary! Mayhap yous should start paying me for letting yous stay hither, buddy!" Patrick growled. Suddenly, a purple and turquoise van crashed into the house. Out of it came a purple fish wearing a turquoise vest. "How tin can I exist of service?" he asked.
"MY FRIEND IS ON THE VERGE OF COMMITTING SUICIDE! You've gotta help us!" SpongeBob outburst. "Hm, whatsoever idea on why he's committing suicide?" Steve asked. "Oh, that's easy! We posted a whole bunch of videos of him doing embarrassing stuff on Pineapple Farms, an online forum dedicated to laughing at crazy people!" SpongeBob explained. "Well, great piece of work there young lad! It's always good to peachy people! It can make them depressed! Which in turn can make them think of suicidal thoughts! Which gets me business!" Steve grinned, quickly running upstairs into Squidward'south room.
He kicked down the door, his optics widening. "OH Aye! THIS IS A DAMN Skilful ONE! SUCH A DAMN Proficient ONE INDEED!" Squidward moaned loudly in a high-pitched voice, digging the knife from before upward into his donkey. "West-WHAT THE HELL?!" Steve gasped, stepping back from the squid. "GAH! Y-Y'all w-weren't supposed to see that!" Squidward said nervously, grabbing a blanket and roofing himself with it.
"Well, I did. And you know, Mr. Squid With A Gigantic Nose? I think I may exist able to help you...If you take the blanket abroad of class," Steve said seductively. "Ooh~ I know where this is going," Squidward smirked, removing the blanket and positioning his donkey in front of Steve's face. "At present allow's become this party started!" Steve grinned, violently pushing the knife into his ass. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! MY ASSHOLE! MY FRICKIN' ASSHOLE! Steve, you lot just stabbed my frickin' asshole!" Squidward shouted in his loftier-pitched vocalization.
"Exactly! Now I bet yous won't desire to play with your ass anymore!" Steve smirked. "Y-Y'all're right. I don't. BUT I Notwithstanding Have MY DICK!" Squidward grinned. "Not anymore, sucker!" Steve grinned, quickly chopping off Squidward's nose. "Gah! What the frick, man?! That was my nose!" Squidward exclaimed in his high-pitched vocalism, covering the area where his nose used to be. "Huh, really? It looks similar a dick," Steve said, picking up Squidward'due south nose off the flooring, before plopping information technology in his mouth.
"Why, it even tastes like a dick!" Steve said, chewing on the body part. "Well, that's because I ****ed on information technology earlier today," Squidward explained nonchalantly. Steve's eyes widened, chop-chop spitting out the nose. "EEEEEEWWWW! That's then gross! That's so gross, human being!" he said, cringing in disgust. "Oh, come on. What are y'all, a 2d grader? Finish sex activity shaming," Squidward said, crossing his tentacles.
"2d graders don't know well-nigh sex," Steve said, a deadpan tone in his phonation. "I did when I was a 2nd grader," Squidward said. "...What did your parents do to you?" Steve asked in a disturbed vocalization. "Very...terrible...things…" Squidward grinned, his eye twitching. "...Okay then. But at that place'due south something you need to know! Masturbuating is terrible and you should feel terrible for doing it!" Steve shouted. "It'southward not that bad. Information technology'south just a fashion to release repressed feelings of sexual-" Squidward said nonchalantly simply was interrupted past the "suicide preventer".
"It is that bad! It is that bad! The very indicate of sexual feelings is for them to be repressed! I hateful, come on, man! And if you still remember, masturbating's okay, just await at all these comments about yous on Pineapple Farms! You're a terrible person! A disgrace to the world! And you deserve to dice!" Steve growled, taking out his phone and showing Squidward all the comments made about him on Pineapple Farms. "Y-You're...right. I am a terrible person! I deserve to dice! Oh frick, what is wrong with me?!" Squidward whimpered, tears in his optics. He apace grabbed a box of cyanide pills, plopping them in his mouth. "Goodbye vicious globe!" he shouted, quickly falling to the floor before long later on. Suddenly, SpongeBob and Patrick burst into the room. "Squidward!" SpongeBob gasped. "Hey! He stole my cyanide pills! That jerk!" Patrick growled.
Trivia
- This is the longest episode ofLivin' With The Squid.
- This episode continues off of the previous one.
- This episode was first confirmed on conversation, with The Terrible Travis calling it a "suicide prevention episode".
- Squidward's sexual want for Steve in this episode contradicts "The Squidward Effect", in which he is revealed to be asexual.
- This is a real Creepypasta online.
Source: https://spongefan.fandom.com/wiki/Squidward%27s_Suicide
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